


decirte que te amo

by rjtonamen



Series: siempre amigos, nunca inamigos [2]
Category: J Balvin - Fandom, Music RPF, Nicky Jam - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Boyfriends, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 10:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19196707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rjtonamen/pseuds/rjtonamen
Summary: telling the world - and each other - something important.





	1. Chapter 1

**JB:** “lmaoooo”  
**JB:** [link to a celebrity news blog: headline reads LATIN MUSIC’S FAVORITE BROMANCE IS GOING STRONG.]

 **NJ:** “good lord. we are literally holding hands in that photo. bromance???”

 **JB:** “I cannot stop laughing”  
**JB:** “There are like a thousand of these”

 **NJ:** “and how often do you google yourself?”

 **JB:** “Excuse you. I would NEVER.”  
**JB:** “For your INFORMATION, SIR, i was googling YOU”  
**JB:** “xq I miss your face and wanted to see it”

 **NJ:** “you’re adorable. you know we can video call, right? that’s a thing?”

 **JB:** “This is more fun, tho”  
**JB:** “Bromance bromance bromance”  
**JB:** “I found one from when we were in PR and you are KISSING ME ON THE CHEEK and it says bromance”  
**JB:** “I am dyingggg”

 **NJ:** “should we, like, ‘come out’ at some point?”

 **JB:** “If you want to.”

 **NJ:** “knew you were going to say that”

 **JB:** “DO you want to?”

 **NJ:** “i don’t know. we probably should, right? we’re not exactly subtle, but they’re still not getting it”

 **JB:** “We don’t have to”  
**JB:** “If they don’t get it, that’s their fault”  
**JB:** “You already know what I’m going to say next…”

 **NJ:** “you love me and you want me to be comfortable, so it’s my decision.”

 **JB:** “Got it in one”

 **NJ:** “the ones who matter already know… our friends, family, etc. but the fans/media.”

 **JB:** “Yeah.”  
**JB:** “Whyyyy do we have to deal with this anyway”  
**JB:** “Let’s just quit fame and go be hermits or something”

 **NJ:** “tried that. hated it.”

 **JB:** “Oh yeah.”

 **NJ:** “and you would die if you went two days without someone taking a picture of you.”

 **JB:** “That is NOT true”  
**JB:** “I wouldn’t make it two days”

 **NJ:** “at least you admit it.”

 **JB:** “I have an idea.”

 **NJ:** “i’m scared”

 **JB:** “As well you should be. It is a TERRIBLE idea”  
**JB:** “You should come to my next show. We can sing X or whatever, idk. And then at the end… we just fucking make out on stage”  
**JB:** “Watch them try to call THAT a bromance move”

 **NJ:** “i can see the headline now. j balvin and nicky jam something something brotherly love. and all the comments will be about ‘friendship goals.’”

 **JB:** “They really would be that stupid”

 **NJ:** “not stupid, i think. ignorant? they don’t want to see it, right?”

 **JB:** “Yeah, you’re right”  
**JB:** “Why is it that every time a man is photographed with a woman, the world assumes they’re dating. But you and I LITERALLY KISS and they’re all like” [shrug emoji] “bros” [shrug emoji]

 **NJ:** “they thought you and juan luis were dating that one time”

 **JB:** “Ehh, he doesn’t count. They think he’s dating everybody”

 **NJ:** “true”

 **JB:** “For real, tho. Do we want to do this?”  
**JB:** “We don’t have to say how long it’s been. Let them draw their own conclusions on timing”  
**JB:** “But we could say something. Tweet or instagram live or set up an interview or something”  
**JB:** “Or make out on stage”

 **NJ:** “as fun as that last one sounds, i’m going to say hard no.”  
**NJ:** “but… yeah. i think we should. not that we’re hiding it now, but i think i want it to be acknowledged. if that makes sense.”

 **JB:** “It makes sense”  
**JB:** “I want to talk about you. Tell everybody that I love you”  
**JB:** “And hear you tell everybody you love me. That would be nice”

 **NJ:** “i mean, i could just tell you”

 **JB:** “Tell me what?” [angel emoji]

 **NJ:** “decirte k te amo”

 **JB:** “What was that? I couldn’t hear you”  
**JB:** ICantReadAllOfASudden.gif

 **NJ:** “you are so cute. y te amo.”  
**NJ:** “te amo.”  
**NJ:** CanYouHearMeNow.gif  
**NJ:** “TE AMO.”

 **JB:** “I will never get tired of that.”  
**JB:** “Two days til you get to say it to my face again”

 **NJ:** “you could say it back, you know.”

 **JB:** “I could”  
**JB:** “Or I could make you wait”  
**JB:** “Since you spent like ten years being mad at me every time I said it…”

 **NJ:** “it was NOT ten years”

 **JB:** “Certainly FELT like ten years”  
**JB:** “Just kidding. I can’t not say it. Teamoteamoteamo”

 **NJ:** “two more days.”


	2. Chapter 2

Balvin spends both days planning. _Plotting_ , Nicky would say -- if he knew. But Balvin doesn’t tell him. It’s not that he necessarily wants it to be a secret; more that he’s not ready to share yet. He’ll show Nicky when he gets back to Miami.

The _click_ of a camera shutter jolts his train of thought off-track.

“What are you writing?” Orli asks, sliding into the seat opposite Balvin.

“Nothing,” Balvin answers. He snaps his notebook shut and rests one elbow on it. “Here’s a tip: no one, ever, is going to answer that question.”

Orli shrugs. “Eh. Worth a shot. Hey, have you talked to Nicky since his thing?”

“No. Not yet. I’m going to see him soon enough, so we --”

Orli is smiling. Well, Orli is almost always smiling, even when he’s behind his camera, but now he’s smiling like he knows something, and Balvin doesn’t like it.

“Wait, what thing?”

He shrugs again and clicks another picture just as Balvin pulls out his phone.

“Stop that,” Balvin says, but he hardly hears himself saying it. His phone must have been switched to silent by accident -- he’s missed three calls and several texts from Nicky, as well as an hours-old Instagram notification about a live video. He looks up at Orli, who’s still smiling. “Did you watch this?”

“You haven’t --” Finally, the photographer’s camera and smile drop. “You didn’t watch it?”

Balvin doesn’t answer. He doesn’t bother digging out his headphones; he starts the video, knowing everyone on the jet can hear Nicky’s voice through the phone’s tiny speakers but not caring. From the corner of his eye, Balvin sees Orli shake his head and wander off. 

The livestream starts like every livestream does: Nicky, leaning back, watching the comments roll in, greeting countries and states in Spanish and English. At some unknown signal, maybe a milestone number of viewers, Nicky smiles and sits up. “Okay,” he says. “Let’s go.”

Balvin swallows hard. He misses Nicky badly, the way he always has when they’ve been apart, even before they were… whatever they are now. Of course he’s been alone for much longer, both before and after, but he can’t help but to ache when he sees Nicky’s face. Still, Orli’s reaction to this stream makes him nervous. He has no idea what to expect.

It takes a second for Balvin to realize that he hasn’t absorbed a single word. “...several ‘bromances,’” Nicky is saying, air-quotes included. “Producers, other singers, friends.”

 _Where is this going?_ Balvin thinks, though he already knows the answer.

Nicky smiles and continues, “But I have to say a couple of things about ‘bromances.’ One -- what a terrible word. I do not like the way it sounds. Can we say best friends? Or brothers?” He laughs and shifts in his seat a little. “Two -- more importantly -- there has been a lot of talk recently about a certain ‘bromance’ of mine.”

_Oh no, oh no, oh no._

“It isn’t one. Well, it is, but it’s not _just_ that. And I know this person wanted to hear me say this in front of the world, so: te amo. I hope you’re watching. Te amo. And I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

The video ends abruptly, but Balvin doesn’t move. A thousand emotions battle for attention in his head. Numb, waiting for them to settle, he opens the texts from Nicky, then closes them without reading. He rubs his eyes hard with the back of his hand.

When he opens his eyes again, Orli is back. He says something, but Balvin can’t hear him over Nicky’s voice in his head.

_In front of the world. Te amo._

Orli glances over his shoulder; a moment later, Rebeca is at his side. She rolls her eyes, sighs, takes Balvin by the arm, and hauls him to his feet. “Come on, lover boy,” she says, and he hears _that_ loud and clear.

They’ve landed, somehow, without Balvin noticing. He’s still dazed, even more disoriented now, but he plasters on a smile and lets Rebeca lead him out, down the stairs, and into the airport. His phone and notebook are heavy in his hands. He needs to call Nicky -- or text him, at least -- but doing so while surrounded by people seems impossible.

The eternal ride to Nicky’s house is quiet. Balvin answers Rebeca’s questions on autopilot; she sets him up for easy jokes, but he lets them pass by. He can tell she’s concerned, though she tries to act like everything is fine.

“Okay,” she says at last. “Obviously we have to talk about this. But you don’t have to go see him if you don’t want to. We can take you to --”

He cuts her off. “No. I mean -- no, thank you. I’m sorry. I need to talk to him. I need to see him.”

“Okay.”

There’s a long pause. Balvin looks out the window, and Rebeca chews on her lip.

“You love him, don’t you?” she says.

“Yes,” he answers without hesitation.

“Then it’s going to be fine. I _did_ think I was pretty clear about you telling me before you told the world, but -- I guess you didn’t know he was going to do that, did you?”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Okay. That’s fine. Or we can make it fine, anyway. Let me talk to some people while you talk to him. At least you told me when you first started -- dating, or whatever you’re doing. Medina and I have had…” She takes a deep breath through her nose. “...plenty of talks already.”

Balvin doesn’t say anything. He recognizes the neighborhood; they’re minutes away from their destination. Time is passing strangely. Rebeca is still talking, but he’s not listening anymore. His notebook is in the bag at his feet, and it takes all his concentration to resist the urge to literally throw his plans out the window. 

Rebeca shakes her head. “You two. You’re lucky you’re so fucking talented,” she says, but she laughs while she says it.

“Please,” Balvin says, feeling the shadow of a smile on his own mouth. “You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if not for me.”

“There he is. You’re going to be fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

And then he’s on Nicky’s doorstep, letting himself in with Nicky’s spare key, standing in Nicky’s empty foyer.

“Nicky,” Balvin tries to call, but it comes out a sigh.

There’s a TV on somewhere upstairs. Balvin sets his bag down and takes off his shoes before making his way up. The wild thought that Nicky might not be alone crosses his mind, but it’s gone as soon as it comes -- he would never. Especially not after his declaration this afternoon.

_In front of the world._

Balvin follows the sound of the TV to Nicky’s bedroom. Not really where he wanted to have this talk, but he supposes there are worse places. He taps gently on the door before cracking it open and sticking his head inside.

“Oh, shit,” Nicky gasps, sitting up quickly in the bed. “You scared me. Fuck. Sorry. When did you get here?”

“Just a minute ago,” Balvin says. He opens the door all the way and takes a half-step inside. Nicky is dressed, at least, thank God -- _that_ would make the conversation even harder. He does look like he just woke up, though.

Nicky clears his throat. He’s suppressing a smile, but badly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I saw your…”

“Yeah?” The smile breaks all the way through now, and Balvin is almost helpless against it. “I… That’s what you said you wanted, right? In front of the world?”

“Yes, but…” Balvin runs a hand over his head. All the words he’d had planned are gone. What had sounded so eloquent in his head before now won’t come out of his mouth at all. But Nicky is looking at him expectantly, and he has to say _something_. “I… thought we would do it together.”

His voice breaks on the last word, and he bites his tongue. This is not how it was supposed to go. Balvin sits down heavily on the end of the bed and rests his head in his hands. He can feel Nicky behind him, silent. The TV clicks off. After weeks apart -- some reunion this is.

“I’m sorry. I thought you would like it,” Nicky says at last.

Balvin chokes out a laugh that’s half-sob. “I do,” he says. “I love it. That’s part of the problem.”

“What --”

“I had all these plans. And then you just… smashed them, like you always do. Surprised me, like you always do. It’s one of the things I love most about you, but God, Nick, give me a fucking break every once in awhile, will you?”

It comes out crueler than he intended. He turns to apologize, but Nicky’s smile is back, his eyes soft. “I will never understand you.”

Balvin doesn’t _want_ to argue, but Nicky’s refusal to do so is still a little infuriating. It’s like part of him wants to be angry, and when Nicky just looks at him like that, it’s impossible. He wants to say something else cruel just to see what will happen. If he were younger, dumber, less in love, he might try it.

“I think…” Balvin starts, but he stops himself and shakes his head. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me. What do you think?”

“I didn’t want to have this conversation now. Can we go back to the I-missed-yous?”

Nicky laughs. “No. You can’t say that and then leave me hanging.”

Balvin takes a deep breath and starts again. “I think you think my feelings for you are uncomplicated. I’ve loved you -- been _in_ love with you for such a long time. But it’s not true. They’re very complicated. I mean… it’s been six months, and we haven’t even put a label on this thing yet. How do you think I feel about that?”

“Do you want a label?”

“Now you sound like me.”

“Well, you’re starting to sound like me, so it’s only fair.”

There’s a pause. Neither man moves. It’s silent in the room except for their breathing. Balvin can hear his own heart pounding in his ears, and he wonders whether Nicky can hear it, too.

“Yes,” he says. “Yes. I think I do want a label. I thought it would be enough to know that you love me back, but I was wrong. I want something.”

“Okay. What kind of label, then?” Nicky asks.

“I don’t know,” Balvin sighs. “I don’t know what fits. I don’t think ‘friends with benefits’ are supposed to say ‘te amo’ every five minutes, in front of the world or otherwise. But we’re not really _dating_ \-- we don’t go on _dates_.”

“You could take me on a date,” Nicky says. “Buy me a fancy dinner. Prove how much you love me.”

“If you’re a gold-digger, you’re a terrible one,” says Balvin.

Nicky laughs again, low. But when he speaks next, he’s serious. “I care about you. I really do. And all along, this whole time, you’ve been saying that you want to move at _my_ pace, make _me_ comfortable. But you’re in this with me, too. And I want to know what you want.”

Balvin can barely speak past the lump in his throat. Put like that -- maybe he does know what he wants. He’s just not sure he can say it out loud.

“You’re not going to scare me away now,” Nicky adds. “No matter what happens, we’re best friends, remember?”

“I think there is a word for best friends who sleep together and tell each other los aman.”

“Is there? Seems like it would fit.”

“Boyfriends.”

And there it is. Out there. Unable to be unsaid. There’s another long, silent pause. Balvin wants badly to say never mind, we don’t need a label, being here with you is enough, te amo te amo te amo, but --

Nicky reaches out. It’s a big bed, and his fingers barely brush Balvin’s back, but he leans in to the touch. “Boyfriends,” Nicky tries.

“If it’s too much, I --”

“No.”

Nicky slides forward until he’s sitting beside Balvin on the edge of the bed, their shoulders touching.

“No?” Balvin echoes.

“No. It’s not too much. I think it fits.” He lays his hand, palm-up, on his own thigh. “It may take some getting used to, but…”

Balvin takes his hand and squeezes it. “I really did miss you,” he says. “I always miss you.”

“Google Images aren’t quite the same, huh?”

“Not quite. I can say ‘te amo’ to a picture all day, and he will never say it back.”

“I’ll say it back,” Nicky promises.

Balvin looks at him, one eyebrow raised. “You know, I can’t kiss a picture, either.”

Nicky opens his mouth to answer, but before he can, Balvin pulls him close and kisses him hard. Nicky hums, sighs, grips Balvin’s shirt with his free hand. Before either of them know it, they’re halfway undressed, limbs tangled, breathing each other like pure oxygen. “Te amo,” Nicky whispers.

Balvin barely manages to keep a straight face as he whispers back, “Que hermoso bromance.”

“José, I love you,” Nicky says, “but shut the fuck up. Just kiss me.”

He does, happily, hungrily. He can make jokes all day, but it’s true what he said before -- he’ll never get tired of hearing Nicky tell him he loves him. Not just as a friend or a brother, but as a _boyfriend_ , the way Balvin has loved Nicky for so long. He’ll never get used to it, nor does he want to.

“Te amo,” he replies at last. It’s true, too, that he can’t not say it.

 _The world can wait,_ he thinks. _And fuck my plans._

_This is so much better._


End file.
